Healing Yourself with Music
Mountains of research show that music is a powerful way to change your mood
Nature and music are two of the most powerful methods of soothing a traumatized mind. Music is especially good for helping you process difficult emotions. I strongly encourage clients to create playlists for themselves which they can access when they are experiencing strong emotions like; having panic attacks, going down a shame spiral, feeling triggered, or other situations which are emotionally overwhelming. Several different playlists can be especially helpful; a soothing playlist for when you are anxious or distressed, a sad playlist to help you grieve, a fun playlist to help you get out of a triggering event, an angry playlist for when you need to fight back and build courage, and so on.
This can be a daunting task for survivors of personality disordered parents. If you were raised by narcissists it’s probable that your sense of self never fully formed. I talk more about this in other posts. Without a fully formed sense of self you might not know what kind of music you like, your favorite color, what kind of food you like or dislike, etc. Many times children of narcissists think creating a playlist is something you do for other people, choosing songs other people will enjoy. But a playlist is a very personal endeavor and a wonderful self care technique.
Here are some suggested songs for playlists. I’ve included a category for women’s issues as they are especially relative right now.
Please add music you like in the comments!
Soothing:
Exhale (Shoop Shoop), Whitney Houston
Hallelujah, K. D. Lang
Nocturnes: III. Sure on This Shining Night, Minnesota Choral Artists
Angry:
I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor
Stronger, Kelly Clarkson
Someday, Mariah Carey
Home, Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors, Bebe Rexha
Unstoppable, Sia
Sad:
Bridge Over Troubled Water, Roberta Flack
Full of Grace, Sarah McLachlan
Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word, Elton John
Since I Fell for You, Gladys Knight
Say Something, A Great Big World, Christina Aguilera
Home, Michael Buble
Angel, Sarah Maclachlan
Unbreak My Heart, Toni Braxton
Uplifting:
Proud, Heather Small
Breakaway, Kelly Clarkson
I Hope You Dance, Lee Ann Womack
I Know Where I’ve Been, Queen Latifah
Broken and Beautiful, Kelly Clarkson
Women’s Issues:
Boss Bitch, Doja Cat
Can’t Hold Us Down, Christina Aguilera
Good as Hell, Lizzo
Fighter, Christina Aguilera
I’m a Woman, Deborah Coleman
The Bullpen, Dessa
Gabriella’s Sang, Helen Sjoholm (Swedish, from the Swedish film, As it is in Heaven)
Flowers, Miley Cyrus
Strut, Sheena Easton
Fun:
Can’t Stop the Feeling, Justin Timberlake, from the movie The Trolls
Cha Cha Slide, DJ Casper
In these Shoes? Kirsty MacColl
Uptown Funk, Mark Ronson, Bruno Mars
Let’s Get Loud, Jennifer Lopez
If You Wanna be Happy, Jimmy Soul
Say Hey (I Love You), Michael Franti and Spearhead, Cherine Tanya Anderson
Baby Shark, Pinkfong
Fireball, Pitbull, John Ryan
Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen
I’m Too Sexy, Right Said Fred
Shoop, Salt-N-Pepa
Waka Waka, Shakira (in Spanish and English)